Happy wife equals happy life. That saying does ring a lot of truth, but at the same time when we think of that phrase are we not usually focused on our own happiness alone. In today’s society we have been fighting for women’s rights so much that we are beginning to be more like the center of the family, and our mood tells our family if the day will be good or bad, and naturally they all have to adapt to that mood.
I admit the beginning of our marriage was pretty rocky, and looking back I can definitely point one of the contributors to the rockiness based on how I viewed my happiness in the marriage, my mind was more focused on what this marriage can do for me, not so much what I can bring into the marriage, and self focus eventually will only lead to destruction, don’t get me wrong I did care about my husband’s happiness too, but at the same time I cared about my happiness way more, we are naturally inclined to be that way, and so quick to stand up for ourselves and make sure our needs are met. I did love him alot, and we made a life long commitment and a promise to ourselves for a divorce not to ever be an option, so here we were two selfish suffering people bonded together with a promise to love and to honor each other till the end.
Children are a wonderful blessing, but, it can be hard on the marriage, my marriage was challenged even more after our third child was born, to take care of them is hard in itself, but ending up with postpartum depression was almost unbearable. I started crying out to God, desperate to find comfort and relief of my inner agony, and with that I dived myself deep into prayer life and God’s word. During those difficult times my relationship with God grew very close, so came the wisdom, humbleness of my heart and understanding how to treat my husband right. Understanding human nature and people skill is very beneficial, so not only did I read my bible but I started reading books on self-improvement.
Our marriage started to bloom and it became strong and beautiful, there were moments when I could not believe how much our marriage changed for the better, the difference was night and day. But it all started with me, I can truly only change one person, and that is me, I decided to work on myself, and do everything possible on my part.
One of my biggest changes that I made was serving my husband and putting his needs first, in return he started doing the same for me, isn’t it funny how it work, so opposite of what we naturally want to do, but doing things right only benefits you so much more.
This scripture really struck my heart
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. PROVERBS 31:10-12
This is what I strive to be, it’s not easy, and there are many days when I just want to focus only on myself, but at the same time I want to have a happy and fulfilled marriage, and that only can be accomplished with a lot of work. One of the people skill books I read a while back, can’t remember the name of the book anylonger, but it gave me a nice perspective on how human nature works, it stated that we reflect each other, if someone smiles at you and is nice, naturally you want to imitate that, and same goes the opposite if you are moody, angry and selfish you will find people living up to your attitude and mood. Just like babies and toddlers do, it copies you, and does everything you do, have you ever applied the same principle to grown ups? My teenage daughter once in awhile likes to pretend cry in front on my one year old, just to see her reaction, seconds later the one year old follows and starts crying too, that’s how nature works we copy each other.
As for me I want to take the harder road, I don’t want to look back on my life and have regrets, I want to look back and know I did everything I could to have a peaceful, content, and satisfied life, to know my husband and my children can fully trust me and that I have their best interest in mind, and to be surrounded by wonderful and caring friends. It’s the people in our lives that make us happy and so vice versa , be the reflection on how you want to be treated.
Be blessed, and I hope your journey of life will be precious and beautiful too, and to be honest, the only thing that truly gives me joy is Jesus, no one else can comfort me like He can, only he knows exactly what my heart needs and wants.